Recently I had a friend call me in a panic, apparently her son-in-law told her she was no longer going to have her beloved insurance any longer. He explained to her that while listening to Rush Limbaugh, Rush covered a story about China buying the Louisville based company, Humana. I'm not sure if Rush mentioned that when China bought the insurance giant, they would shut down all insurance plans or if the son-in-law just assumed that since it was China, that's how the evil Chinese operate. Regardless, I had some consoling to do.
By doing a quick Google search I found that in the news the Louisville based insurance company had recently purchased a chain of urgent care clinics and a humanitarian group, called Humana: People-to-People, expanded their effort to assist poverty-stricken people in China. I explained to her the apparent misunderstanding and we engaged in a continued dialogue about who we would blame for this concern causing hunt for the truth, Rush or the son-in-law.
Needless to say, I was relieved to have such immediate access to the information.
But I'm still angry!
While I think it's amazing that we have the entire world of information at our fingertips, somehow it's made society less intelligent. Even worse, people are even more confident in their unintelligence and willing to share this stupidity.
Everyone's the smartest person they know and because we have access to the internet, we have no belief in experts. Why have faith in the doctor that's spent half a lifetime in school when you've consulted WebMD? Of course your mechanic must be trying to get over on you because a simple web search has told you exactly the reason your check engine light in on and there can't be any truth to what the government is up to unless it's reported by TMZ. I've even had the pleasure of listening to a lady, whom claims to have been a part-time teacher's assistant, let loose on a man with an aspergers teenager on his child-rearing short comings.
I guess not only can you get your genius from the internet, it can be acquired through osmosis. Then again, what do I know? I'm not a blogger, I just stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Friday, August 24, 2012
Disclaimer: You Might Be an Idiot
I saw a pretty interesting truck commercial the other day. There was this huge structure, which looked like a spiral staircase, that had flames and all manner of disaster challenging this truck as it made its way up. All the while the truck is pulling something behind it. I don't recall if it was logs or rocks, but I'm sure it was something manly.
As the commercial was ending, at the bottom of the screen in fine print, it read something like, "professional driver on closed course." I very much appreciated the disclaimer, since I was fearful that I might have to drive the 2002 Camry up that thing one day.
But I'm still angry!
I'm on board with the disclaimers companies have to make in order to cover their legal backsides, but it's just getting out of control.
For instance, I was watching a Lego's commercial which showed two children playing. One of the children's hands where in super-speed, so the commercial could show the end result of what the child was building. Lego made sure to note in the disclaimer that Lego's would not result in your own hands moving that fast. I guess along with imaginative children, we need to make sure the entrepreneurial adult with a brick laying business doesn't get any ideas.
But one that really chaps my ass was another car commercial.
Picture it, a super-sleek sports sedan is in a video game race track. It's darting back and forth across the screen as digital monsters and barriers attempt to undo it's best time. As the car avoids the barriers, by moving laterally, they explode into digital mess.
The disclaimer, "Do not attempt."
Attempt what?! Attempt parking my car inside my xbox and driving through Mario Land? I mean, what the hell does that even mean, "do not attempt?"
I guess in this world where people sue for spilling coffee on themselves, getting injured while committing crimes or actually go to sleep while placing their car on cruise control (and win!), everything needs a disclaimer.
Here's mine; You might be an idiot.
As the commercial was ending, at the bottom of the screen in fine print, it read something like, "professional driver on closed course." I very much appreciated the disclaimer, since I was fearful that I might have to drive the 2002 Camry up that thing one day.
But I'm still angry!
I'm on board with the disclaimers companies have to make in order to cover their legal backsides, but it's just getting out of control.
For instance, I was watching a Lego's commercial which showed two children playing. One of the children's hands where in super-speed, so the commercial could show the end result of what the child was building. Lego made sure to note in the disclaimer that Lego's would not result in your own hands moving that fast. I guess along with imaginative children, we need to make sure the entrepreneurial adult with a brick laying business doesn't get any ideas.
But one that really chaps my ass was another car commercial.
Picture it, a super-sleek sports sedan is in a video game race track. It's darting back and forth across the screen as digital monsters and barriers attempt to undo it's best time. As the car avoids the barriers, by moving laterally, they explode into digital mess.
The disclaimer, "Do not attempt."
Attempt what?! Attempt parking my car inside my xbox and driving through Mario Land? I mean, what the hell does that even mean, "do not attempt?"
I guess in this world where people sue for spilling coffee on themselves, getting injured while committing crimes or actually go to sleep while placing their car on cruise control (and win!), everything needs a disclaimer.
Here's mine; You might be an idiot.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Selfish Help
This past Sunday at our church service there was pamphlet in the bulletin that advertised a parenting class. The title read, "Learn the Five Parenting Styles" and as an incentive, they said the class could teach you the 'buttons' you have and how to eliminate those buttons, so your children can't push them.
I was speechless. Not just because you're not supposed to talk during church service, but also because as the father of an infant I could use some helpful information like that. I mean, think about it! Wouldn't it be great if I could find out why it is that the incessant screaming of a newborn, every hour on the hour, every single night for months straight was a button of mine? And if I could identify it as a button I could eliminate it, so when my baby cries for all night long and I haven't been able to sleep for more than an hour consecutively in months, I wouldn't even let it bother me. Information like that would be priceless.
Believe or not, it's not priceless. It was only $20 per couple. Now that's what I call a bargain.
Truthfully, I don't think classes about parenting are worthless, or only worth $20 for that matter. In full disclosure, I want to admit that I took part in the "Expected Fathers" class at the hospital my daughter was born.
I took those classes because I needed to educate myself on things I had no prior knowledge of. I thought of it in the same way I would had I taken a class on changing my oil or installing a kitchen sink. The point is, I needed to be educated, so I took a class on it.
But I'm still angry!
Why is it every time you turn around some guy with a bad mustache and southern drawl wants to explain to you that he's figured it all out? Not only have the mysteries of life been cleared up, but even though this whole time you thought life was a challenge, there were only between two and five things you ever needed to worry about. Seriously, didn't you realize that the trouble was men were from Mars and women are made with sugar and spice? That even though you might have trouble finding a date, there are only five 'love languages' and if you answer about six questions online almost every dating website can fix you?
Thank goodness all this has been sorted out now, because without it we would be bumping into each other in our stupidity.
It's also gracious of theses life-guru's to offer their classes or techniques at such an attractive price. My personal favorite is $19.99, it has such a ring to it. I almost hope that the government creates a $19.99 bill. That way when I commit to 5 "easy" payments of it, I can just drop it in the mail.
The fact of the matter is, life is a tough go sometimes and it takes our whole time living it to learn how do deal with it. So the next time someone wants to help me by explaining how easy it is, I'll just help myself.
I was speechless. Not just because you're not supposed to talk during church service, but also because as the father of an infant I could use some helpful information like that. I mean, think about it! Wouldn't it be great if I could find out why it is that the incessant screaming of a newborn, every hour on the hour, every single night for months straight was a button of mine? And if I could identify it as a button I could eliminate it, so when my baby cries for all night long and I haven't been able to sleep for more than an hour consecutively in months, I wouldn't even let it bother me. Information like that would be priceless.
Believe or not, it's not priceless. It was only $20 per couple. Now that's what I call a bargain.
Truthfully, I don't think classes about parenting are worthless, or only worth $20 for that matter. In full disclosure, I want to admit that I took part in the "Expected Fathers" class at the hospital my daughter was born.
I took those classes because I needed to educate myself on things I had no prior knowledge of. I thought of it in the same way I would had I taken a class on changing my oil or installing a kitchen sink. The point is, I needed to be educated, so I took a class on it.
But I'm still angry!
Why is it every time you turn around some guy with a bad mustache and southern drawl wants to explain to you that he's figured it all out? Not only have the mysteries of life been cleared up, but even though this whole time you thought life was a challenge, there were only between two and five things you ever needed to worry about. Seriously, didn't you realize that the trouble was men were from Mars and women are made with sugar and spice? That even though you might have trouble finding a date, there are only five 'love languages' and if you answer about six questions online almost every dating website can fix you?
Thank goodness all this has been sorted out now, because without it we would be bumping into each other in our stupidity.
It's also gracious of theses life-guru's to offer their classes or techniques at such an attractive price. My personal favorite is $19.99, it has such a ring to it. I almost hope that the government creates a $19.99 bill. That way when I commit to 5 "easy" payments of it, I can just drop it in the mail.
The fact of the matter is, life is a tough go sometimes and it takes our whole time living it to learn how do deal with it. So the next time someone wants to help me by explaining how easy it is, I'll just help myself.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Work-Life Balance
There's a recent trend with employers to create more of a team-like atmosphere. Gone are the days when you were afraid of your boss and did all you could to avoid interactions with him or her, enter the era where your boss is your friend. No longer will you refer to the person that decides if you walk the unemployment line with a Mr. or Mrs., instead they insist you address the person that didn't give you a raise by their first name.
The reasoning behind this comes from well-funded engagement surveys that indicate if employees are happy and feel like part of a team, they will offer better service to the customer. The predominate method of doing this is team-building exercises.
Extremely high-end companies have been known to send their valued associates to dude ranches where teams will learn to trust one another. Without trusting the entire team, they realize that they won't be able to reach the collective goal. Less budget-friendly shops have had to rely on group lunches and daily outings, which is all well and good.
But I'm still angry!
During a recent staff meeting for my work team, the idea was brought up that we should all have a cook-out on a Saturday evening. Many of the people on the team glowingly spoke of all the fun we could have, the dishes we could bring and the games we could play. Someone even mentioned that the last outing of this nature did wonders for the team, recognizing that we were all family-oriented and had so many similarities.
Not me, I think it's a terrible idea. Sure, my sentiment went over like a lead balloon, but I'm interested in having a job, not being a member of a club. I don't need to be friends with everyone that I work with. As a matter of fact, I think it's foolish to believe that it's an attainable goal. The truth is, as an adult and professional you learn to manage working with people that have vastly different personalities and belief-systems than your own.
And while I think team-building exercises at work are extremely valuable, especially those that advance an employee's professional development, I find it intrusive that a company would schedule my weekend activities.
Forgive me for wanting to be a professional, for wanting to be treated like a professional and treat those I work with as professionals. Forgive me for developing friendships on my own and understanding that there is a identifiable line between my personal life and work life.
In this word of social networking, where our entire identity is thrown into one big bucket, I guess I'm the only one left that appreciates a little work-life balance.
The reasoning behind this comes from well-funded engagement surveys that indicate if employees are happy and feel like part of a team, they will offer better service to the customer. The predominate method of doing this is team-building exercises.
Extremely high-end companies have been known to send their valued associates to dude ranches where teams will learn to trust one another. Without trusting the entire team, they realize that they won't be able to reach the collective goal. Less budget-friendly shops have had to rely on group lunches and daily outings, which is all well and good.
But I'm still angry!
During a recent staff meeting for my work team, the idea was brought up that we should all have a cook-out on a Saturday evening. Many of the people on the team glowingly spoke of all the fun we could have, the dishes we could bring and the games we could play. Someone even mentioned that the last outing of this nature did wonders for the team, recognizing that we were all family-oriented and had so many similarities.
Not me, I think it's a terrible idea. Sure, my sentiment went over like a lead balloon, but I'm interested in having a job, not being a member of a club. I don't need to be friends with everyone that I work with. As a matter of fact, I think it's foolish to believe that it's an attainable goal. The truth is, as an adult and professional you learn to manage working with people that have vastly different personalities and belief-systems than your own.
And while I think team-building exercises at work are extremely valuable, especially those that advance an employee's professional development, I find it intrusive that a company would schedule my weekend activities.
Forgive me for wanting to be a professional, for wanting to be treated like a professional and treat those I work with as professionals. Forgive me for developing friendships on my own and understanding that there is a identifiable line between my personal life and work life.
In this word of social networking, where our entire identity is thrown into one big bucket, I guess I'm the only one left that appreciates a little work-life balance.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Home Decor and Home DeCan't
If you've never had the pleasure of living someplace that has a home-owner's association, I recommend selling your house immediately and doing so. Only people that have enjoyed this type of experience will enjoy this post, so in order to not miss out, call Remax as soon as possible.
Now I don't want to speak too badly of the homeowner's association I'm unwillingly a part of, after all I'm trying to sell soon. I would even like to commend them on their aggressive position on Christmas decorations recently. It shows me that they actually speak to one another during their secret meetings.
For instance, just last week I was approached by one of the few neighbors I can stomach and he reminded me that I was dreadfully close to having my Christmas lights up too long. Our association requires the decor to be removed two weeks after the appropriate holiday and I was one day shy of being in violation.
While I think the nasty letters and reminders in the sporadically issued news bulletins are a bit much, it is nice to know, no matter how convenient, the Condo cops are putting their foot down when it comes to having lights up all year long (sorry redneck women). These masters of conformity have even drawn the line when it comes to parking too close to one side of the parking spot, ticketing those no good slugs with a citation that holds about as much value as Monopoly money.
But I'm still angry!
I won't argue the value of a home-owners association. I mean, who doesn't enjoy the passive aggressive option of tattling on your neighbors to a powerless entity, rather than actually working the problem out? Yet I do take issue with the fact that all winter decoration are apparently labeled "Christmas" decorations. As if two weeks after the 25th of December, winter ends. And, yes, maybe Santa and all his reindeer get a trip to the storage unit, but what about snowflakes and evergreen wreaths? It seems that anything even second-cousin close to Christmas is voted off the island, but where does that leave us?
Luckily, I have identified those items that are allowed, regardless of season. It seems that anything you can find on the clearance rack at your local Cracker Barrel is always welcome. Yes, this includes the famous lazy cowboy leaning against the wall silhouette, any childlike figure urinating, and the bloomers of a bent over maiden.
Other association-approved decor seems to be birdhouses, but not just one. I haven't read it in the rules, but I'm pretty sure if you have birdhouses it has to be in multiples of 5, they have to indicate that you have been to several non-famous vacation landmarks and be in the condition of the bird equivalent to low income housing.
The one that takes the cake, however, is wind-chimes. I have a neighbor that has so many wind-chimes that when we have a storm it actually sounds like a battle of two high school marching bands. I ask myself constantly, 'how can that be approved by the assocaition?!'
This whole time, the answer was right in front of my face. None of the wind-chimes have snowflakes on them.
Now I don't want to speak too badly of the homeowner's association I'm unwillingly a part of, after all I'm trying to sell soon. I would even like to commend them on their aggressive position on Christmas decorations recently. It shows me that they actually speak to one another during their secret meetings.
For instance, just last week I was approached by one of the few neighbors I can stomach and he reminded me that I was dreadfully close to having my Christmas lights up too long. Our association requires the decor to be removed two weeks after the appropriate holiday and I was one day shy of being in violation.
While I think the nasty letters and reminders in the sporadically issued news bulletins are a bit much, it is nice to know, no matter how convenient, the Condo cops are putting their foot down when it comes to having lights up all year long (sorry redneck women). These masters of conformity have even drawn the line when it comes to parking too close to one side of the parking spot, ticketing those no good slugs with a citation that holds about as much value as Monopoly money.
But I'm still angry!
I won't argue the value of a home-owners association. I mean, who doesn't enjoy the passive aggressive option of tattling on your neighbors to a powerless entity, rather than actually working the problem out? Yet I do take issue with the fact that all winter decoration are apparently labeled "Christmas" decorations. As if two weeks after the 25th of December, winter ends. And, yes, maybe Santa and all his reindeer get a trip to the storage unit, but what about snowflakes and evergreen wreaths? It seems that anything even second-cousin close to Christmas is voted off the island, but where does that leave us?
Luckily, I have identified those items that are allowed, regardless of season. It seems that anything you can find on the clearance rack at your local Cracker Barrel is always welcome. Yes, this includes the famous lazy cowboy leaning against the wall silhouette, any childlike figure urinating, and the bloomers of a bent over maiden.
Other association-approved decor seems to be birdhouses, but not just one. I haven't read it in the rules, but I'm pretty sure if you have birdhouses it has to be in multiples of 5, they have to indicate that you have been to several non-famous vacation landmarks and be in the condition of the bird equivalent to low income housing.
The one that takes the cake, however, is wind-chimes. I have a neighbor that has so many wind-chimes that when we have a storm it actually sounds like a battle of two high school marching bands. I ask myself constantly, 'how can that be approved by the assocaition?!'
This whole time, the answer was right in front of my face. None of the wind-chimes have snowflakes on them.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Healthcare, Reformed
I know a lot of people don't care for, or don't understand, high deductible health plans.
No problem there, the industry has renamed them "Consumer-Driven Health Plans." Consumer-driven, meaning that the more you want, the more you pay. Most people just can't get on-board with it, but it does make sense.
Think of it like your car insurance. Almost everyone has a deductible and you know that your monthly premium could be more, or less, depending on how much deductible you take on. It works that way with most health plans now.
So let's say you walk out of the Kroger and realize that some unscrupulous shopper pushed their cart into your car and you have a scratch on it. You can decide to eat the deductible and file it with your insurance, you can pay for it out of pocket, or you can just live with it. Health insurance is moving in the same direction.
Just like a scratch on your car, when you get a cold you are faced with the decision to either pay for a doctor's visit, or just ride it out. Some people feel like it's foolish to have to make decisions like that about their health, but insurance was never made to pay for every scratch and dent, it was created to save you from being financially bankrupt if your health takes on a semi-truck.
But I'm still angry!
After carefully padding my Health-Savings Account I have finally made the decision to get laser-correction for my vision. It became necessary after I couldn't find my glasses while my daughter was screaming one night and I couldn't see her. That and I kept walking into the closet for my midnight trips to the bathroom.
Unfortunately my foot decided to take on the sofa recently and after four days of soreness, I'm pretty sure my foot is broken. Now any reasonable person, including my lady whom reminds me every time I cringe while walking, would go to the doctor to get it taken care of.
Not me. You see, if I use the money in my HSA to get my foot fixed, I can't get my eyes fixed. Besides, maybe if I can see better, I'll be able to walk better.
So to follow-through on the car analogy, in a few weeks feel free to compliment me on my new halogen headlights. Just ignore that I have a flat tire.
No problem there, the industry has renamed them "Consumer-Driven Health Plans." Consumer-driven, meaning that the more you want, the more you pay. Most people just can't get on-board with it, but it does make sense.
Think of it like your car insurance. Almost everyone has a deductible and you know that your monthly premium could be more, or less, depending on how much deductible you take on. It works that way with most health plans now.
So let's say you walk out of the Kroger and realize that some unscrupulous shopper pushed their cart into your car and you have a scratch on it. You can decide to eat the deductible and file it with your insurance, you can pay for it out of pocket, or you can just live with it. Health insurance is moving in the same direction.
Just like a scratch on your car, when you get a cold you are faced with the decision to either pay for a doctor's visit, or just ride it out. Some people feel like it's foolish to have to make decisions like that about their health, but insurance was never made to pay for every scratch and dent, it was created to save you from being financially bankrupt if your health takes on a semi-truck.
But I'm still angry!
After carefully padding my Health-Savings Account I have finally made the decision to get laser-correction for my vision. It became necessary after I couldn't find my glasses while my daughter was screaming one night and I couldn't see her. That and I kept walking into the closet for my midnight trips to the bathroom.
Unfortunately my foot decided to take on the sofa recently and after four days of soreness, I'm pretty sure my foot is broken. Now any reasonable person, including my lady whom reminds me every time I cringe while walking, would go to the doctor to get it taken care of.
Not me. You see, if I use the money in my HSA to get my foot fixed, I can't get my eyes fixed. Besides, maybe if I can see better, I'll be able to walk better.
So to follow-through on the car analogy, in a few weeks feel free to compliment me on my new halogen headlights. Just ignore that I have a flat tire.
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